Not so energetic

I want to be energetic and vibrant every day

But some days I cannot shake fatigue away

Sometimes I am disenchanted, disengaged and unmotivated

I feel my enthusiasm for work and life has completely abated

I chide myself, try to trick my brain to believe

That if I tried harder, a hyper-energetic state I would achieve

I liberalize my caffeine intake

Hoping that a positive difference it would make

I start worrying if that state of mind

Is going to last long, but then I find

That if I just take a step back and let things be

Getting through the day is a bit easier for me..

*

We expect to be highly efficient and productive

At all times, on roller skates we try to live

When we find ourselves unable to meet

Our exalted expectations, we feel a sense of defeat

We expect nothing to come in the way

Of our efficiency from day to day

Aren’t these expectations unrealistic

Fueled by a society highly materialistic

Sending us towards mental and physical burnout

Certainly this is something we could do without?

*

To listen to the body when it tells us to rest

To slow down sometimes is in our best interest..

I am not going to be vulnerable before you

When you are going through a rough patch

You look for support to which you can latch

Sometimes it is a kind voice, a willing ear

That lets you overcome your fear

All the simmering resentment inside

You pour into this ear, you confide

All your woes and all your weaknesses too

You trust the other person would not betray you

*

You feel better, life goes on until one day

Your friend in a gathering decides to say

Something about you that you don’t want the world to know

And that gives to your trust a rude blow

Next time you would be more discerning, you decide

Before you let others know the thoughts you harbor inside

*

This competitive world is rough

To find a safe place to just be yourself is tough

When you expose your vulnerable side

You open the floodgates wide

For exploitation anytime by those

Who you as your confidants chose

By being burnt multiple times you realize

To express everything you feel is unwise

You learn to exercise restraint when you interact

You learn never to reveal your true feelings, in fact

*

The only lament I have here-

In hiding our vulnerabilities, we lose authenticity, I fear..

I was asked what I liked to do..

I don’t know how or why I was asked that day

What I really liked to do, I am embarrassed to say

That I instantly felt flattered, because I could not recall

An instance when anyone around me had cared at all

To find out what I liked, it had probably never crossed anyone’s mind

To ask women this question, they were supposed to be blind

Followers of the men, who with their wealth and position in the society

Were free to make choices, indulge in whatever they happened to fancy

*

Being from a wealthy family, I was privileged, I knew

What other women lacked, I had the freedom to do

And yet my opinions were considered unnecessary

I was supposed to be a bejeweled, bedecked accessory

But that one question energized me to explore

My likes and dislikes further, to try to be more

Than just a mute observer in a world that was exciting

The thought of being an active participant was inviting..

*

I realized I was passionate about education, I liked to teach

I started a school in the village in order to reach

The girls who were confined to household chores

I worked with their families in order to ensure

That they had the time, the resources and the flexibility

To learn how to read and write, and to grow up to be

The kind of women who were not afraid to state

What they liked, who were not resigned to their fates..

*

This was more than seventy years ago in India newly independent

I faced challenges profound, but never wavered in my intent

As I reflect on a life well-lived in my last days

The question that started my journey stays

Fresh in my mind- never in my wildest imagination

Had I thought I would teach multiple generations

Of women just because someone asked me

What I liked- and it became my destiny

Awestruck by the Aurora

It is believed that experiencing awe makes you

More peaceful, happier, more grateful too

It sounds a bit ridiculous to talk about

Being awestruck, it’s the stuff of dreamers, no doubt

Not for people who are practical, who live in reality

The experience of awe seems quite otherworldly..

*

Awe is not something I had felt much at all

Apart from a few times during travel that I could recall

But this year has so far bestowed upon many including me

More than one opportunity to be

Awestruck at incredible spectacles of the universe within a short span

We’ve directed our gaze upwards, like the earliest of men

Marveled at the spectacular cosmic dance

Grateful to have received a chance

To see the extraordinary in our daily lives

Filling us with emotions difficult to describe..

*

In a world where natural disasters increasingly make news

It is exhilarating to see these breathtaking views

To experience a sense of awe, feel a burst of positive energy

The solar eclipse and the Aurora Borealis have thus captivated me…

No growth in isolation

I stay wrapped up in my own shell

Mostly alone with my thoughts I dwell

I interact with few people except at the workplace

I like solitude in my own undisturbed space

I am quite content in my company but I fear

I am restricting my growth in my cocoon here…

*

I think, read and write in a vacuum devoid

Of people, this way I inadvertently avoid

Enriching discussions and criticism constructive

There is no one around me who can give

Advice to me on how to hone my craft

No one gets to critique my initial draft

Input from others should help me improve

I need people around me who do not approve

Of my way of thinking, the way I write

I would benefit from getting their valuable insight

**

If I want to be better, I have to end

The self-imposed isolation, I intend

To reach out and share my vulnerability

With people with a range of viewpoints around me

My ideas don’t just validation need

They shall expand when challenged indeed

The Pace of Modern Life

The world moves at such a dizzying pace

That I constantly struggle to find my place

By the time my bearings I finally find

When around a new idea I finally wrap my mind

Ideas have changed, so have the ways in which things are done

And I feel defeated when I’ve just begun..

*

Perhaps it is of middle age a sign

An inevitability before which I have to resign

I can no longer learn new skills as fast

I want my old way of doing things to last

*

Even the internet is more confusing than it used to be

The difference between real and AI-generated content is hard to see

The sources I trusted for information are not

As trustworthy now as I had thought

*

It is easy to get lost in the world today

In the maelstrom of various forces at play

I should keep calm and try to preserve

My sanity, as my brain power I try to conserve

For learning the most important stuff

That I need to know, that should be enough

Emotional Reader

I read extensively but do not retain

Most information, I cannot explain

In detail what I have just read

I tend to make associations instead

With my existing emotions-therefore

I remember what appeals to my emotions more

Facts I forget as quickly as I read

I cannot talk knowledgeably indeed

About the contents of a book, but I don’t forget

If a book has made me exceptionally angry or upset

Or if a book has made me feel positive in a way profound

I am likely to carry forever those memories around

*

I connect with the words in a book, and then they

Get lodged in my memory where they stay

For easy retrieval when I feel a similar sentiment

I remember old words in the context present

*

Yes I envy those who can remember and convey

The information they have read in a coherent way

I wonder why in that category I do not fall

Large bytes of information why do I fail to recall?

*

Maybe that is why reading that moves me

Inspires me to incorporate it into my poetry

I read, I feel, I imbibe new ideas and thoughts

Eventually into my verses those ideas are brought..

Hidden gem

When crowds have overrun a pretty place

To enjoy its iconic attractions there is no space

The infrastructure of the city is crumbling from the weight

Of unbridled tourist fervor, yet people continue to congregate

In this city that has been known

For its magnificent architecture from an era bygone

On every travel list, this city is a must-see

But it does not appear that impressive to me..

*

Let me find a place that is not too remote and yet

Throngs of tourists in high season does not get

A place that is a hidden gem perhaps

Authentic but without the usual tourist traps

Accessible enough but not widely publicized

Let me go there before its tourist potential is fully realized..

*

In this secluded town that seems far away

From civilization, I am spending a perfect day

Unhurried, relaxed, without having to stand in long queues

I am able to feel disconnected and footloose

At this less known but enchanting destination

I am actually able to enjoy my vacation..

The Banyan Tree

I travel back with my child to rekindle my desire

For my roots, long have I aspired

To connect him with the places in which I had grown

He knows his mother in a vacuum; he knows someone who has flown

From her nest, leaving half of her behind

The unbroken half – that is what we are here to find

*

For landmarks familiar my eyes continue to scan

But it does not look like I can

Identify the places seared in my memory

Haphazard buildings and throngs have replaced the trees

Where are the knolls on which I had stood

To watch sunrise and sunset in the neighborhood..

I am as confused as my child who looks up to me

A bit concerned, a bit frightened, unable to see

Anything remarkable in the urban melee

He is wondering if his mother’s promise was a lie..

*

As we continue to walk aided by Google street view

A trusted old friend comes to my rescue

The sprawling banyan tree from my childhood days

In all its glory, in the same spot has stayed

In its expansive shade we take refuge from the sun

And I show my child where my story had begun..

Experience Chaser

Flaunting material possessions is bourgeois, and old-fashioned

We want to have amazing experiences that demonstrate the passion

With which we pursue life, experiences that are one of a kind

Involving excess money, exotic travel and an adventurous streak to find

That unique experience that bragging rights provides

Not possessions, but experience-chasing now divides

The haves and have-nots, we want to be able to display

“Amazing”, “surreal” “awe-inspiring” experiences on Instagram these days..

*

The world has shrunk, therefore it is easier than ever

To travel far and wide for extraordinary experiences that never

Would have been possible for most people even a decade ago

To be able to do something different gives a boost to the ego

Therefore we have all experience chasers become

Hoping these fabulous experiences would make us “awesome”

*

In our relentless quest for something extraordinary

We tend to disregard moments in our everyday lives ordinary

That are truly amazing, that have transformative potential

We find our lives boring, we feel dismal

If we do not have social-media worthy moments in our lives

While chasing uniqueness, in the mundane we forget to thrive

*

I am guilty of being driven by the thrill

Of experiences, I realize I never will

Be satisfied if I keep chasing experiences relentlessly

In my ordinary day, let me the extraordinary see..

To cook perfect meals..

It would be nice to cook food from scratch

Fresh for every meal, not prepared in a batch

Food would be more flavorful if I could incorporate

Spices freshly ground, that explode on the palate

Melt-in-the-mouth soft would the texture of food be

If it was cooked on a low temperature setting slowly..

If vegetables could be perfectly cubed and diced

The curry I make would be a feast for the eyes

If I had the luxury of time to cook lovingly and with care

More appetizing, satiating and healthier food I could prepare

*

But I cannot cook from scratch, from fresh ingredients most days

Therefore I try to cut corners in different ways

Sometimes packaged ingredients I incorporate

Instead of fresh ones, for lack of time I must compensate

I use machines to help simplify

The arduous process of cooking, I shall not lie

My vegetables are chopped into pieces unequally

They are hardly pleasing to the eye, aesthetically

I use microwaves and pressure cookers to minimize

Time spent in cooking, the taste it does

compromise

Garnishing with fresh herbs is reserved

For special occasions, since time I have to conserve..

*

It leaves me dissatisfied that elaborate steps I have to circumvent

In order to place home-cooked food on the table, despite my intent

But working outside the home is also important to me

Therefore I am perpetually in this quandary..

*

I give dietary guidance as part of my treatment plan

To my patients, and try to adhere to my advice as best as I can

Though I am unable to prepare delectable feasts

I rarely order dinner from restaurants at least!

Rekindle my creative spark

I have mulled over and taken some time to decide

One thing I want to be intentional about, now I want to abide

By my decision- each day I want to indulge in something creative

Whether a new spin to old thoughts I give

Or find a novel way to complete tasks routine

Write something new, take a route previously unseen..

*

I had long assumed I did not have a creative streak

Traditional expressions of creativity I never did seek

That creativity could take many forms, I had not realized

When I finally understood the full breadth of creativity I was surprised

To know that many of my problem-solving techniques

Would count as creative, being innovative and unique

*

It took me a while before I could perceive

Myself as creative, before I could learn to believe

That being authentic in self-expression

Is of the creative process a manifestation

Now I consciously try to seek a way

To be original, be creative every single day

I remind myself that I possess

A supply of creativity that is endless

I see the world through fresh eyes

I am perpetually ready to be surprised

Each new experience is an opportunity

For me to flex the muscle of creativity